Sicks: a little lullaby in the rainy day
by Nekoblue7
Summary: In a rainy day, Edward collapsed and Roy took care of him, however he ended discovering more about the darkness that has been surrounding his commanding officer. Yaoi, Roy/Ed. COMPLETE and FULLY REVISED!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Sicks: a little lullaby in the rainy day.

**Genre: **Angst, hurt/comfort.

**Pairing:** Roy x Ed.

**Rating:** R-15 (for this first part R for swearing).

**Warnings:** Anime/manga spoilers, YAOI (don't like, don't read).

**Summary:** In a rainy day, Edward collapses and Roy took care of him, however he ended discovering more about the darkness that have been surrounding his commanding officer.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything, all rights to Hiromu Arakawa and the companies that bought those.

**A.N.:** This is an adaptation from the **Jackpot's** doujinshi called "Sicks", in two volumes. I changed some aspects, but basically it's very similar to the original. Before someone could ask, this doujinshi wasn't scanned; it's from my personal collection bought in Japan. Note that the fic's title is EXACTLY the same of the doujin, and it contain grammatical errors T.T . I hope that this could be enjoyable; it's my first attempt in angst.

Please review if you're enjoying this, or else I won't bring sicks#02. Good criticism no flames!

This fanfic had two beta readers: **Ametyst-eyed koneko** and **fullmetal'sgirl92.**

**B.N.: Koneko: **Hi Everybody! Thanks for taking the time to read this. :) Haganeko and I worked very hard to make this the best it can be so please enjoy our efforts! I had never beta'd anything before this and had no idea what I was getting myself into. Whew! This proved to be the most challenging fanfiction related thing I've ever done! It surprised me just how much detail goes into crafting a story. My hat is off to all you writers out there! :) I would like to encourage other writers out there, those of you who can read Japanese of course, to try translating doujinshi like this. Not only is it a bit of challenge; but by doing this, you will get more doujinshi stories into the hands of eager fans! We all love our scanlations but this is the next best thing. Again, thanks for reading this! Reviews and concrit are most welcome! Please don't flame us! :)

Koneko.

**Fullmetal'sgirl92:** I really didn't do much. But I tried. It was my first time being a beta reader. Hope I at least gave you another point of view.

**Arigatou minna XD**

**Sicks #01**

Fullmetal entered my office today like a little king, scowling at my subordinates, stealing my peace. In fact, he's still in front of my desk. He came to turn in his latest report of destruction. More of the state's money spent in vain. I don't care. I know that everything he does is for the benefit of others. He is innocent, untouchable, and pure. The consequences with my superiors are the problem. He needs to understand. He needs to learn.

"Redo it", I said to him dismissing the piece of junk in my hands that he calls a report.

He was startled. Sweat rolled down from his temple. His lip trembled and his mouth was slightly open. "_Say it_", my mind thought in anticipation. It's always the same. He'll yell at me because I've discovered that he did his report on the train coming back to Central. Minutes pass but nothing comes.

He remained there, in front of me, silent. I sighed and took this as a good sign. Could he be growing up? He's almost sixteen years old but so small, so immature. Impossible. Maybe some teasing could reveal his true face.

"I can't believe… did you really expect me to accept this horrible report? With the exception of some of the paragraphs at the top, I can't even read it."

I tried to read it again. I felt his stubborn gaze on me. His breathing was quickening in obvious annoyance. He's more stubborn than I thought; but a short temper is not something you easily hold on to, especially for Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Then it finally came.

"You…", his voice was low and dangerous. "An old man like you can't possibly understand other people's business". A vein was bulging on his forehead.

"_Bingo_". Yes, he hadn't changed. A short joke could finish this.

"You don't understand either. You couldn't handle such SMALL thing. You need to grow up Fullmetal."

"Wha-", he shut his mouth then slammed both hands down on my desk loudly and glared at me. His eyes were filled with anger and the desire to kill. He glared at me, hating me.

This is odd. Fullmetal was never one to regret yelling. Was I wrong? Had he finally learned how to behave like an adult? This was uncomfortable. I leaned forward and placed my elbows on my desk. I laced my fingers together and rested my chin on them. I stared back at him.

"Yes Fullmetal?" I said calmly, unflinching. When I got no response, I then said rather coldly, "I have a sudden temporary reassignment tomorrow afternoon. I will be unavailable until the following morning. You will work on your report during that time. Do it quickly. I'm counting on you." I leaned back in my chair.

I'm tired and I need a drink. Tomorrow will be one more boring day. Who knows where they're sending me this time. The tension in my shoulders eased a little and I stayed there waiting for him to leave with stomps and shouts. I even closed my eyes. So tired… And once again, he acted oddly. I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes. He was staring at me with an odd expression.

"Anything else?" I said, never looking at his face directly. Damn it Ed, go away. Your presence hurts me. He seems to want to say something but only silence fills the room.

"What?" I stared at him again.

"Ah… y-your…" he was embarrassed, scratching his nose. "Y-your face is pale… paler than normal…I think…" He rubbed his mismatched hands together, a clear sign of distress.

What did you mean Fullmetal? Have you started to care about me now? Don't give me empty words, not you. I envy you your innocence, your truthful convictions. Wait… Could this be some sort of trick? The kind that children play on their parents? Speaking soft words to change their minds or placate their anger?

I looked at him, searching for a sign. He fidgeted but his eyes were sincere. Perhaps the second option then. Yes, those are the eyes of a child. I don't blame you. You never had a father to teach you or care about you. But I'm not your father Ed; and I don't plan to be.

"If you don't start improving your handwriting soon, you'll be in trouble" I sighed. He tensed and that murderous look returned to his eyes. Better like this. This is more Ed-like.

"I'm sorry but I'm busy. You should go now."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Fucking Colonel!" I yelled in the corridor. Fucking asshole! Why?! It's just a piece of paper. How does he always know everything that I do!

His eyes were so… cold. Cold and distant…like my father. His face somehow reminded me of that bastard. That fucking useless guy…just like him.

"Edward? Is that you?"

Who…? A female voice… Yeah, it's Lieutenant Hawkeye coming from the cafeteria.

"Edward, did you come to turn in your report?" She smiled.

Always polite. I like her. Even if she chose to follow that bastard, she is always kind to me. I almost forgot my anger. Almost.

"This?" I showed her my burned report, or rather, what was left of it. The son-of-a-bitch burned it before I left his office. She smiled in understanding. This isn't the first time. This woman understands that bastard better than anybody here, even his womanizing habits. Maybe she should know…

"… Lieutenant…the Colonel…isn't he… acting strange?" I finally asked her. Her expression became somewhat wary as she tried to maintain a calm façade to my question.

"Excuse me?" she said softly.

"… Perhaps he dislikes something at work… or maybe he's working too hard…? What's happen-"

"You look hungry or is something wrong Boss?" an amused voice interrupted me. Havoc.

I turned quickly to glare at him.

"What the hell?!" I saw his idiotic expression. Disgusting smoke reached my nose. I used my arm to block it. Someday he'll die from smoking that shit.

"Are you worrying about your enemy? So sweet…" he grinned. "He burned your report again, didn't he?"

"Shut up!" I wanted to punch him in his nose. He deserves it.

"Don't worry, Boss." He patted my back "We have time. Let's do something…"

"I'm busy… maybe some other day…" I said to him remembering the words of that bastard colonel. It's almost evening. Al is waiting.

"You're weird boss. When you're concerned, you turn as docile as a kitt-". His grin vanished from his face when I kicked him in the leg…with my left foot.

"W-What'd I do?" he asked while clutching his shin on the floor.

I'm tired of all of this. Better go home. Before I leave them, I notice the Lieutenant's face. She seems so contemplative. Maybe even…sad?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back at the hotel, I took a bath and thought about what the Bastard told me today. Its better write the damned report before go to bed. I grabbed my pen and note and started to write it in the small couch of our tiny room.

"What's this?" Al said coming in from outside. "Brother, isn't this your report? You went to the Colonel's office today didn't you?"

I keep writing. I'm too pissed off about this to talk. Let me see. The human body follows the law of… what's the name of that theory about human composition…?

"Hey, Brother-", Al started again.

"Yes it is and what do you want?" Sometimes I'm very scary and now is one of those times.

"Uh, it's nothing…" Al replied meekly and I heard him go straight to his bed. Sorry Al. I need to finish this and taking care to write legibly takes a lot of time. Shit! I hate doing this! This is so troublesome! This is so boring! It's all his fault!

That asshole… His image comes to my mind one more time. He's such an idiot. Why does he always give me a second chance? Why? Why do I keep following him anyway…?

What?! What am I thinking? I'm going insane. Damned Colonel! How stupid…

I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember his face.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Brother!" Al yelled at me.

"What?" Sometimes he's so annoying. I was just getting to the best part of the book. Maybe staying locked in a hotel room all day does things to one's mind. We should go out later… nah… tomorrow.

"Don't answer me like that! You're supposed to give this to the Colonel, aren't you?" He showed me that hated piece of paper and gave it to me.

"Why is this still here?", he yelled again. "It's already evening don't you know?!"

Damn it Al. I just took my shower and I'm feeling pretty lazy right now. I don't want to go out.

"It's okay; it's not a big deal." It's better to talk to Al now or he'll not leave me alone. "One more day won't kill him."

"He'll be mad at you brother!" he continued.

"He's always mad at me. I don't mind."

Yeah, that bastard is always mad at me, teasing me, driving me nuts. Why do I care about it? Is it because he's my commanding officer? Something strong came from inside me, a sneeze. Geez, thinking of this is sending chills down my spine.

"Why are you so childish? Your hair's still wet. You'll catch a cold!" He started to dry my hair with my towel.

"Al! It hurts! Ouch!" It hurts. If he's mad at me, it's okay. Just don't look at me with that cold gaze anymore.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He is standing before me again. He is coughing a lot. Maybe this is the reason why he delayed his report; but a simple cold isn't enough reason to act childishly. He delayed his evaluation report. This is very important. Without it, he can't do any research or take the evaluation exam. It's not as bad as the other one. Actually, it's pretty good; but it needed to be turned in yesterday. I had ordered him to do that.

"I read it" I said putting his work on my desk. He's coughing again, worse than before. His face is red and he really doesn't look very good.

"… and?" he asked meekly.

"You didn't have to give this to me so quickly" I replied and saw his eyes widening. Sorry Edward, you needed to learn. "You had to do a lot of work to get this done, didn't you?"

"That's it?" he said in disbelief. "My deadline was yesterday. I won't be punished?"

"Did I say that?" His look shifted from disbelief to relief. He probably didn't understand the lesson.

"When you have work to do, you need to do it quickly and BEFORE the deadline. Didn't I say that? I gave you this narrow time frame just so you could learn this lesson. You're so immature…"

He wanted to yell, but a fit of coughing seized him. He stayed in front of my desk coughing for several minutes and I became concerned. After the crisis passed, he was breathing heavily, trying to fill his lungs with air again.

"I'll be back" he stated and turned to leave.

Outside the weather was turning pretty bad. A storm was coming. I couldn't let him go out in this weather. I quickly grabbed his human arm. He gaped at me in surprise.

"What…? Let me go!" He struggled against my grip.

Why do I care? He's a stubborn, childish brat! He trembled under my grip. I saw fear in his eyes. Why _do_ I care about you Ed? I couldn't find a response so I remained silent for some moments.

"It's going to rain." He looked at me astonished.

"Wha…?" he said confused. Maybe he hasn't noticed his own condition. His face is so red, maybe he has a fever.

"It's very cloudy and dark outside. A storm is coming. It's best not to leave the building." I said finally. For once in your life, hear me…

"What?! Are you the weather man now?" He slapped away my hand and took a step away from me.

No, I'll not allow him to do this. I have to protect him, even from himself. I took a step in his direction and grabbed him by his shoulders. He's so hot! I took my hand from his metal shoulder and put it on his forehead. His eyes widened.

"Are you really going out with this fever?" I was sure this was not a low grade fever. "It's best you rest a little. You may sleep in one of the guest quarters. The dorms are full so only these private offices are not in use. They're reserved for high ranking officers but you can use my keys."

My offer however just pissed him off. He slapped my hands away with enough force to free him from my grip.

"What…? Why are you wasting your time pretending that you care about me? Is this pity?!" he shouted, angry.

I was speechless. Were my actions guided by pity?

"I don't need your pity!" he yelled again and left my office running.

Good, Fullmetal. I don't care. I'll sit here and I won't mind. However, something stronger than me made me look out the window. The rain had started to fall.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Why does he care? Back then too, five years ago, in Risembool. Why are you always standing in front of me?

I'm not a baby to be taken care! Shit! My head hurts like a hell and my vision is blurring. Maybe that bastard was right. Something hit me on my head. Water. Shit. It's raining. I need to find some place… that phone booth will do.

He was right. Here I am locked in a phone booth so far from the hotel. The coughing is getting worse. My chest is heaving. It's so difficult to breathe; I can't even think straight. Al. I need to call Al. He's waiting. Everything is turning black. I can't reach the telephone. I need to…

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Colonel? What's the matter? You've been looking out the window for almost an hour." Havoc said dragging me from my thoughts.

He was so hot. My hand can still feel the heat.

Havoc brings in more paperwork. "I brought these documents from 'up'…"

"I'm leaving." It was time to act. I grabbed my coat and he looked at me with a dumb expression.

"What? In the middle of this storm?" He left the papers and followed me into the corridor.

"You're coming with me."

I couldn't hear anymore. After a moment, he grabbed two umbrellas and handed one to me. My mind was focused on finding Fullmetal. I can't let something happen to him. I promised myself.

He couldn't be too far from Headquarters. He has a high fever. Only someone as stubborn as Edward wouldn't notice it. I looked everywhere. If he wasn't so damned small…

After a while I saw something. Red. In a telephone booth. No, God, not again! I opened the booth and Edward was lying on the floor, the receiver out of the hook. Just like that night, the night I lost my best friend forever. I'm shaking. My mind is reeling, remembering that image of Hughes and all the blood.

No.

My mind went blank, shifting between the present and the past. No...It couldn't happen again! NO! I wouldn't let it!

Hughes.

Edward.

Hughes.

"Fullmetal?"

**To be continued.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings:** Swearing, Non-con.

**A.N.: **I don't know what happened with fullmetal'sgirl92, but she didn't send to me the last chapter. I waited one week but unfortunately by the circunstances, this chapter only Ametshyt-eyed koneko made the revision. Because of it's contents, this fic was rated M to be safe. I must remind you that any sexual violence against real people is CRIME and this fic doens't intend to be favorable to it. Rape is crime. Call the police if you see someone doing it.

**Sicks #02 - FINAL**

The rain was falling steadily, soaking my uniform. It was too cold for early autumn.

In front of me was the small frame of Edward. I found him unconscious inside a phone booth. The boy was sick with a high fever and hadn't followed my advice. I had told him not to leave headquarters since he was sick and rain was on its way. Fullmetal is always so stubborn. If I were Maes, he'd have heard me. Edward always listened him. Maes… It happened again. The telephone… It's the same as that day. I'm useless! Impotent! Weak! Maes… Fullmetal…forgive me…

"It's impossible. There are no taxis on the street." I heard Havoc say from behind me. "Should I call for a military car? Colonel…?"

I knelt beside the boy. Fullmetal. His face was so peaceful. Maes was so peaceful too. I touched Maes' face that day. I felt the coldness of his deadly sleep. What did you see that night? Did you see the face of your murderer? They took you from me because you were a "murder victim" and I was in a crime scene. Damned rules… After all this time, we still don't have the name of the son-of-a-bitch that killed him.

This time is different. I'll take care of Fullmetal. Yes, he will be fine. I can fix this. You're counting on me, aren't you Maes? That's why you went there before me right?

I covered Fullmetal with my coat. He's so small my coat seemed like a blanket. The boy didn't move an inch. I held him close; his head rested on my chest. When I felt his warmth against my body, I felt the need to hold onto him tight, to feel his heart beating proving its life. If you were still alive Maes… damn you. Shit!

_**What is this? Why am I remembering that again?**_

I lifted Fullmetal carefully. The automail was heavier than I thought. How did he walk with these? Somehow I managed to keep on walking. My suffering isn't important. I'm going to fix Edward. Definitely I will fix him and he will be fine.

Havoc called for a military car and we quickly arrived back at headquarters. Riza came to meet us carrying towels, looking concerned.

"What about the Medical Center?" I asked them, still holding Edward in my arms. You're going to be fine Ed. A doctor will see you soon.

"About that…" Havoc hurried to say, "Yesterday's attempted coup left a lot of people wounded. Everyone left to take care of them. The place is empty."

"Get the keys to one of the rooms at the dorms and-"

"It's already arranged, sir." Riza interrupted me and handed me the keys.

She is really efficient. I grabbed the keys and started to walk to the dorms. Okay, no doctor. I'll take care of you Fullmetal. I'll protect you. I'll show you that I can protect people.

"Sorry for the trouble…" I said to her.

"Ah, Colonel…" she came closer and tried to take the boy from my arms. "I'll take him to see a doc-"

"Don't touch me!" No one is going to take him from me. I'll fix Edward. No one will be taken away from me anymore! "Nobody touch me."

They were startled. I left them in the corridor and made my way to the dorms.

My burden is heavier than anyone else's because it's my fault that my best friend died. I killed so many people… and can't keep my promises. I promised to protect them all. I've failed again. The feelings that I've been struggling to suppress for so long invade my thoughts again. My chest is heaving, suffocating. I looked at the fragile sleeping boy in my arms. Can you forgive me Fullmetal? Can you save me from myself?

_**I held him tight once more. I whispered his name and begged for forgiveness again… but nothing came.**_

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_**I was in darkness but I felt good. My automail arm and leg weren't heavy anymore. I felt a mysterious sensation of comfort.**_

_**Some distant sound was hammering at my head.**_

_**How much time had passed?**_

_**Flowing like the water of a river, my memories came back filling the darkness with light, teasing me to face them again. Mom… Dad… Al… they were all there. But wait…**_

_**Al's face is fading from my memory. Soon… his face will disappear from my mind.**_

_**The darkness blinded me again.**_

_**I opened my eyes.**_

"Hum…" Shit, my body hurts. My head is killing me. I heard the sound of running water. Rain? I looked at the ceiling. It's an unfamiliar ceiling. Where am I?

I sat up in the bed. Bed? I don't remember how I got here. Someone had gotten me out of my tank top and had put an over-sized white sleeved shirt on me.

"Finally, you opened your eyes."

I know this voice. It's that Bastard. I looked in the direction it came from. There across the room seated on the floor with his back resting against the wall was the Colonel, watching me.

"…Colonel," my voice sounded raspy because of my sore throat. "… Where is this place?"

"The dorms." He replied. Something was strange about him. His eyes were tired and had an odd aura to them.

"Ah…" What else could I say?

"I ordered you to stay put but you left and ended up passed out in a phone booth."

"What…?" a phone booth? Why on earth would I be there?

"Don't you remember?"

"Well…that's…" Fuck, I can't remember. He looked at me amused. Very funny bastard, but how did I get here with you?

"By the way Colonel, why are you here?" He rose from the floor and slowly moved closer to my bed.

I saw that strange look in his eyes again. He came closer still and gently placed his right hand on my forehead. I felt the warmth of his hand. Oddly enough, it felt good.

"Your fever has broken." He took his hand away and stood in front of me. "Kids can heal pretty quickly it seems…"

_**Bastard! Who's the fucking kid here?**_

"What? Piss off Mustang! Are you making fun of me?" He always treats me like a kid.

But… he didn't laugh or crack any jokes about my height like he always does. He gazed at me in a sad way. He seemed… disappointed.

"It's true Fullmetal." He sat on my bed.

"Hey!" _**Fucking Colonel. What are you up to?**_

"You…" he sighed. "About your report, you delayed it on purpose."

_**What? How did he know?**_

"You did not follow your superior's advice and passed out alone…"

_**This isn't the colonel. Who is this man in front of me? The Colonel never talked to me like this! **_

"You're still such a kid Fullmetal." He placed his hand in my face and gently caressed it.

_**What is this? What is this feeling? My heart is beating like crazy in my chest. I-I can't think straight. Some kind of haze has taken control of my body...**_

"S-sorry about that. My arms and legs got so heavy…" He's glaring at me. I can feel the depth of that cold gaze on me, sending chills down my spine. I'm feeling…so exposed beneath those eyes.

"I-I need get back h-home, Al is wait-"

Suddenly his hand was on my face again. His right hand quickly slid down my cheek and stopped to firmly grasp my chin while his left hand pulled me closer. His warm breath brushed against my skin for just a moment but to me it seemed like hours. Before I realized it, his lips were crushed against mine, his tongue trying to slide into my mouth. My body reacted. My automail hand knocked something from the bedside nightstand while I struggled to free myself from his strong grip. My flesh hand was tightly restrained by his right hand against the bed.

It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut. I don't want to be kissed, not like this. He stopped and glared at me annoyed. The haze took control again. He's so strong that I can't move…

"W-wait… what are you doin-"

He harshly inserted his left thumb inside my mouth. I tried to bite him, but soon his mouth was against mine again. His tongue fiercely entered me, twisting and dripping our saliva between us. The unwanted intrusion made me gasp for air but his hands held me in place.

However… the warmth… the taste of cinnamon and spice from that mouth… My body betrayed me, letting that tongue explore my mouth and, surprisingly enough, I started to explore his. What is this? Animal instinct? The Colonel broke us apart as breathless as I was.

"…Co…lonel…"

_**Why are you doing this to me?**_

"Fullmetal… right now… I'm controlling myself. Do you understand?

"Colonel…" _**What does he mean? Is he mad at me…?**_

"Sometimes… you torture me…"

His eyes were filled with pain and despair. I didn't get it! Torture? But… I never thought that my actions could hurt you in this way…

Once again he caught me by surprise. He parted my legs forcing his weight against my body. I'm scared! What are you doing Colonel? I don't like it! Stop it! I can feel his hand sliding under my shirt and he's kissing me to keep my mouth shut. I can't get him off me! Please, stop!

"Wait! Stop…"

My desperate pleading didn't make him stop. My mind was screaming but my body was enjoying his touch. I felt so dirty. I'm a teenager on a roller coaster of hormones but, shit!, this guy is going to hurt me, rape me! Stop reacting fucking body! Slut! Fuck! Stop!

The Colonel's hand was playing with my nipple while his mouth sucked hard on the skin of my neck. He left a wet trail on my jaw and neck; these places were so hot! This warm sensation was spreading through my veins. I can feel blood flowing to my _lower regions_. No, don't! His hands were everywhere, sliding smoothly against my bare skin. He noticed the growing bump down there and unbuttoned my pants and released my hard manhood from my boxers. He grabbed it and stroked it hard.

"Ah… Stop! Ah!" I was moaning like a whore. It hurt at the beginning but now I can barely speak because of the pleasure caused by the friction of his hand. No, I never did this before! My muscles were tensing, I can't hold on anymore. Al, save me!

"Al!"

Save me, save me, save me, save me, save me, save me, save me, save me…

"Al!"

I screamed my little brother's name as I released my seed against the Colonel's hand. Odd. I never would have imagined that you could scream whatever is on your mind during an orgasm. Boneless and breathless, I laid there beaten like a kitten, practically paralyzed by the aftershocks. Mustang was gazing at me, waiting for something. Will he fuck me? I don't know why but the thought isn't so unwanted now. Fucking cock and hormones. I'm a whore.

"Ed…" he whispered and held me tight. For several minutes, only our pants filled the room. Sometimes the Colonel made noises that seemed like sobs. I tried to loosen his grip on me and called his name. He tightened his grip and was shivering. Suddenly he released me and rose from the bed. I watched him grab my red coat and black shirt from a chair. He stood in front of the bed and handed them to me.

"Colonel?" I asked unsure what to do.

"Go," he said while handing me my clothes. "Leave, now."

I dressed as quickly as I could and left the room. I didn't have the courage to ask why. I left him there without looking back at him.

Why? I can't understand… Colonel… Your face was so full of pain. The things he had done to me came to my mind in flashes as I walked the empty corridors of headquarters.

At the main exit, I was surprised to find Lieutenant Hawkeye waiting there for me with a car.

"Lieutenant…?"

"Please get in. I'll take you to your hotel." She said with a small smile.

The ride was silent. I didn't dare tell her what had happened to me but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Even the rain and the pain of my automail couldn't help me to forget.

"Did you get reprimanded?" she asked.

_**What can I say? My superior tried to fuck me? No. I remained quiet.**_

She sighed. "That man always seems unstable about this time of year when that person was lost forever."

_**Brigadier General Maes Hughes**__._ I realized.

"It's scary... if you can't have the person that you deeply need at your side."

I remembered his face while he was desperately calling my name. My fists clenched.

"…no… I didn't."

So… that is the reason. I thought that he was mad at me. I really am a brat. I didn't… notice.

_**Colonel, you went there just to show to me that I'm not the only one that is struggling against my sins. **_

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How are you today my friend?"

I heard him speaking to the gravestone. The Colonel brought flowers with him. How nice it seems…

"Hi…"

He looked at me surprised.

"I looked everywhere for you at headquarters but you were gone so I thought of here…"

He grinned.

"This is unexpected," he replied. "I thought that you didn't want to see me for awhile."

He seemed hurt. Damn Mustang, why are making this more difficult?

He made to leave.

"Well, I'm going back to headquarters. I hope that this talk could be sho-"

I couldn't restrain myself anymore and grabbed his left arm. He stared at me with his eyes widened in surprise.

"…Colonel," I breathed deeply, "I'm here now, in front of you. You still have people here. Do you understand me?"

He seemed confused. "…Fullmetal?"

_**I'm just a kid…**_

"I won't give up easily…"

…_**the path is still dark**_**.**

"…An unexpected answer can be found if you just stand still and look around you."

_**However…**_

"…So always look at me, you damned colonel.

_**I won't be quiet just looking at everything because I don't want to be a child anymore.**_

We stayed silent for some minutes until he finally spoke.

"… Of course." He stepped away from me. "You can't easily give up or you will be in trouble, Fullmetal, because I recommended you to the military and put my position at risk."

He grinned.

Bastard! He's only thinking of his career!

"If you don't keep moving forward, you will be dead. Just remember, don't go getting yourself in any trouble Fullmetal", he said with a smirk.

"What?" I didn't get it. Wait. He's making fun of me again! "Hey, what do you mean… damn it, fuck you!"

He snorted but couldn't hold his laughter anymore. The Colonel seemed so amused. The darkness that was surrounding him disappeared while he was laughing.

"Sorry, that was bad joke." He smiled. "Just, from now on, don't get yourself in any trouble. You're so stubborn that I have to repeat it so many times…" He laughed again.

"I GOT it! Stop laughing at me!" I liked that he had cheered up but this was starting to piss me off.

"But eventually you can learn to hold back…" he sighed.

"Shut up."

"Ah… It's a beautiful day, don't you think Fullmetal?"

_**I realized that today is the first time in a long time that I've seen your happy face.**_

"Colonel, I'm going back. Al is waiting." _**Al is my goal. My life is for him.**_

"Fullmetal, I'll be watching you from here." He smiled. "Go and do it. If you find you can't succeed on your own, come back to me."

_**Even with that heavy burden you carry, you are still smiling for me.**_

"Arrogant bastard." I'm sure he's back to normal now. "Geez, don't act so fatherly."

_**With this strong base, I will forge my way forward.**_

"See ya, Colonel!"

_**I left you in that cemetery… and promised to always move forward.**_

**The end.**

P.S.: This fanfic shows a uncommon situation. Ed was victim of abuse, but due to their relationship, they tried to forget and remained friends. That was the author's point of view from JACKPOT circle. But, this doesn't happen in real life. Can you forgive Roy for what he did? If was me, I probably can't. Please take this story to think about. Sexual abuse must be stoped, it's up to us.


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